Heart & Soul….Mixed Emotions


During the time my mom became ill, was hospitalized, was diagnosed with cancer, and passed away, my doctor was informing me that my mortality was also at stake due to heart problems, and she was having me tested in various ways. Then one morning she called me and said she felt the results of the tests warrented a referral to a cardiologist.
I had no symptoms and felt intuitively that there was nothing wrong with my heart. But….then worry set in. Fear crept in as the days passed while I waited for my appointment. I bought a new blood pressure doodad and took my BP about 100 times. That being fine, I bought a little pulse oximeter and put it on my finger to keep track of my pulse and observe the oxygen content of my blood through various activities…or no activity except staring at it.
I imagined the near future with various senaroies predicated by fear.

Let’s face it, mortality has been on my mind, with my mom slipping away dad by day before my eyes.

So yesterday I had my appointment with the cardiologist. I handed him a list of my blood pressures and pulse over the last week because I have ‘white coat syndrome’ really bad and I knew my BP would be sky high when taken in the office.

He sat with my chart, thick with all the test results and asked ” so what brought you in today?’ I told him it all started with my doctor telling me I needed my ‘welcome to Medicare’ EKG, and I went on and on. He listened. He got my history. He examined me. Last, he studied the chart.

And he said some happy words….’I think this is going to be a very short visit.’

He found everything to be normal. He found my heart and arteries to be in fairly good condition for having worked non stop for almost 66 years. He dismissed me with good wishes in my travels and said no follow-up visit would be necessary.

I fairly flew out of that office…a huge weight lifted. I was too overwhelmed to be able to think further than this week…but relief flooded me.

And I’m intermittently flooded with sadness, thinking about my mom…

I’ll be flying to Tuscon tomorrow to have her burried next to my dad.

Mary will be taking care of Joy and Shiloh for me. I’ll miss them for the 4 days I’m away, but I won’t worry about them. I want to take this time to thank friends and family who have been wonderful during this very rough time. Thank you for the calls the emails, and posting here, and for helping me and supporting me in so many ways…thank you so much…words just don’t express it. By family, I’m referring to Mandy’s family (my sons new wife), who have adopted me, right along with Jason. They are an amazing clan, and I am so honored that they have welcomed me into their love.

So I will tend to my moms burial, and later this month my new family will be hosting a ‘Celebration Of Life’ for her. After that Joy, Shiloh and I will be heading out into the wild, blue yonder again to continue our exploration of this beautiful blue marble.

Life Is Precious.

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19 Responses to Heart & Soul….Mixed Emotions

  1. Pam says:

    So happy that everything is fine with your health. I do know what you are talking about when you get some “unexpected” news regarding health. So many things go thru your mind. Give your mom a goodbye for me. And then go have yourself some great experiences Rving. If you are ever this far east, let me know!!!!!

  2. Maureen O'Connor says:

    I can personally relate to so many of your feelings and experiences, Micky. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Life unfolds, we can’t know what lies before us, but we are given the fortitude to cope. All my best to you. (I’m glad to know another person afflicted with “white coat syndrome”!)

  3. Ruby Red says:

    Wonderful news — continue floating through life in joy and love.

  4. Marcia GB in MA says:

    What a relief to have your good health confirmed! And what a blessing it is to have friends and family who love you. Hugs to you as fly to Tucson to bury your Mom.

  5. Reine in Plano says:

    This whole health episode has been a blessing in disguise. You wouldn’t have seen a cardiologist without it and now you have confirmation that you’re healthy and can head out with a light heart.
    Lay your mom to rest with your dad, enjoy the celebration of her life and then hit the road with joy and no worries.

  6. Dave & Skruffy (GoingRvWay.com) says:

    Our thoughts are with you, glad your health is good enough to continue your travels.

  7. Me too Dave! Wow. me too!

  8. ED says:

    I like your cardiologist but if it was me I would get a new doctor. The doctor that did the EKG and referred you to the cardiologist would no longer be my doctor. I’m glad that it worked out as well as it did for you. You need the time back on the road after all that you have been through of late.

  9. Krystina says:

    Oh Micky, you have been put through the wringer! I am so sorry about your Mom. When my Mom died I went into a depression for a long time…she was my best friend 😦 It is nice to hear that your inlaws have adopted you…that is great!!

    Don’t know if you have read on RVSue’s blog but I have been going through some not so good stuff too. I am in Corvallis, OR. Long story short my urine has become REALLY dark and smells horrible. I have had 2 cultures done and they have found no bacteria in it…so I don’t have an infection. That means something else must be wrong. A Dr. in CA told me to go to a Urologist so I had to leave the coast to find one. Because the Dr. I found would not get back to me to make an appointment, I faked having terrible back pain (kidney stones could be one of the reasons) and went to the hospital. They did a scan and couldn’t find any stones and there was no mass or tumor. Monday I go in for a Urograph (whatever that is). So, like you were, I am a bit of a basket case. I have been reading, reading, reading to take my mind off of it.

    I do hope that you are on the road to getting back to some normalcy. My prayers are with you. xxoo


  10. Dear Krystina,
    I’m so sorry you are having these health problems! And when something like this comes up, it’s hard not having a doctor you know. I so hope you can get to the bottom of this and get the problem taken care of. Our health is so important in this full timing lifestyle. Taking care of it is a huge priority. Please Krystina, persevere in finding out what the problem is so it can be fixed.

    I have been reading RVSues posts but not the comments lately…so much other on my mind and taking my time.

    I am presently in Tucson, where my mom will be put to rest on Monday, June 15. After that I fly back to Monterey, and I’ll be in the area for 2 or 3 more weeks before I get on the road again.

    Take good care Krystina!

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