Ode To Shiloh

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I didn’t think I’d write a poem about him.  But then, there it was inside, insisting to be let out.  Barking at the door, you might say.

So I’ve written it for days…bits and pieces would come to me, along with tears…while on walks…while driving….I’ve been needing to keep a pen and paper near by.  And a box of Puffs.

ODE TO SHILOH

 

Memories of you dance through my mind and heart.                                                     Each one feels like a poison arrow or dart.

And yet they are such sweet thoughts I can’t resist,                                                 Watching you again, through the mental mist.

The little things you would always do,                                                                                The smile in your eyes that said “I love you too”.

Being ‘Sheriff Shiloh’, or silly, or calm, or aloof,                                                             Being my protector, with an ‘arf’ or a ‘woof’.

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Playing with toys wasn’t your thing,                                                                                      But you were highly entertained, listening to me sing!

And ensconced on the bed, no way would you budge,                                                     Not with a push, or a pull, or a nudge.

Offered a treat, you would just look away.                                                                 Wherever you snuggled in, that’s where you’d stay.

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So Joy and I would have to find our spot,                                                                           And sleep that way, comfy or not.

I didn’t really mind, because part of me knew,                                                               Some dreadful day, there wouldn’t be you.

***********

You loved for the brush to stroke your fur,                                                                         And to be told how beautiful you were.

You had such eye lashes as I’ve ever seen.                                                                 Certainly the envy of every princess and queen.

You were always there for a scratch or a pat,                                                                    And how many times on my foot you sat.

i have memories of you rolling in cow pies, and chasing a deer,                                  And running through fences, to catch you a steer,

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And there’s the time the coyote lured you….come near…                                                  He was hoping to have you for dinner, I fear.

Rabbits and squirrels and kitties would run,                                                                     But you’d never hurt them, it was all in good fun.

**************

We three traveled together, all over this land,                                                                 Four years you wandered woods, fields, and sands.

You explored untold lakes, and rivers and streams,                                                         And at night you’d relive it in all your wonderful dreams.

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As I’d drive you’d stare out the window, miles on end.                                                What were you thinking of, my solemn, sweet friend?

And often, as I turned, to look back at you,                                                                         You were staring at me, because that’s what you’d do.

”Let’s go for a walk” we’re the words you lived for, and then,                                    When we got back your eyes would ask “can we go again?”

You loved CLR, where you could run free,                                                                         And pee on the cactus with impunity.

Folks kept stopping by with a treat,                                                                                        As if you and Joy didn’t have enough to eat!

But the misty beach on the Monterey Bay                                                                          Was the place you loved best….the place Joy and I will stay.

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*************

You’ve been my sunshine for so many years,                                                                    You helped me through life, and so many tears and fears.

You were my comforter, when I was sad.                                                                        When I looked in your eyes, nothing seemed bad.

You were noble and stoic, you would never complain.                                                         It was hard for me to tell when you had any pain.

For you to suffer, wasn’t part of the deal.                                                                               So I let you move on, no matter how I would feel.

I held on tight as I let you go.                                                                                                And I’m still holding you tight in my heart, I guess you know.

My innocent boy, so full of peace.                                                                                       Now you’re free of cancer, with loving release.

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I miss you each minute, my beautiful boy,                                                                    Though your sweet, sweet spirit is now part of me and Joy.

I have to believe that, because there’s no possible way,                                                        I could get by without you for one single day.

”Mommy love Shiloh” forever and then,                                                                     “Mommy love Shiloh” forever again.

Into eternity, beyond space and time,                                                                                        I will be yours and you will be mine.

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38 Responses to Ode To Shiloh

  1. Linda, Molly & Midgy says:

    I need to stop reading your posts. I can’t stop the tears. My heart aches for you. I lost my little girl Muffin this last December and still can’t talk about her. For all the heart hurt.I’m sure you are mostly grateful for all the years of love and companionship just like I am. I could tell you it will get easier just not soon enough.

  2. Patty says:

    Micky, the last four years of your travels together were such a gift for the 3 of you!! How very very lucky!

    Patty
    xo

  3. Marian says:

    Beautiful, deeply beautiful!

  4. Marcia GB in MA says:

    Thank you for sharing your Ode to Shiloh, such a loving and heartfelt remembrance of your life together. Hugs and blessings to you and Joy.

  5. Cindy CF says:

    Just beautiful…

  6. I’m sorry about the way the format turned out. On WordPress there is always a double space between lines and I was trying to avoid that, which I did, but, it resulted in having lines separated, I see.

  7. Din Milem says:

    This is BEAUTIFUL and exactly how anyone who has lost a fur child feels, put into words. Thank you so much for sharing!

  8. alice says:

    Just beautiful.. My heart goes out to you because I know those feelings.

  9. Eileen says:

    Soooooo beautiful. Thank you for sharing your poem and your heart.

  10. Laura says:

    All those lovely words were swirling around, and needed to emerge! By placing them on paper, I hope that you feel a bit more peace…Thank you for sharing with all of us
    hugs
    Laura

  11. JoanneG says:

    Your beautiful poem brought tears to me as well. My sincerest condolences for your loss.

  12. Toni Stagg says:

    Tears are flowing. Thank you so much for sharing.

  13. dawnkinster says:

    Crying here too. Such a boy he was. And such a beautiful, heartfelt poem for him. You are right, he is with you, in a different way. Always will be. Huge hugs to you and to Joy. I wish there was some magic words that would make this not hurt so much. But he was worth the hurt, I think. Such love between you all.

  14. Paula says:

    What a beautiful tribute to Shiloh. Thank you for sharing your poem. I know what it’s like to lose a furry friend, and I wish you healing and peace.

  15. Deborah says:

    Ah Micky, I’m so sorry for the loss of your sweet boy. Your tribute is as beautiful and true, as you are. Hugs my friend.

  16. Debbie Millsap says:

    When my Kara moved to heaven you sent me a lovely note, understanding how much my heart was breaking. I know how devastating the first few weeks are and how thirteen years later – I still expect Kara to come running up the beach when I open the door. The expectation never leaves, which I think is good – it means Kara and Shiloh are always checking in with us – letting us know they are happy and we are loved.

    I am thinking of you and Joy, all the adventures – especially in the past few years that you, Joy and Shiloh shared and the love you’ve shared for the past dozen years. I hope as you and Joy embrace this summer together, the tears turn into smiles.

    • Wow Debbie, that was 13 years ago….wow. Where does the time go? Yes I’m having the same experience…when I walk into a room, or go to the beach, oe where ever, I expect to see him running up to me…I think I WANT to see him running up to me so bad that I’m almost hallucinating. I just don’t know how to be me, without him.

  17. Thank you for sharing your deepest feelings. I hope it brings some sort of peace and healing to you. I know my writing has always done that for me! Hugs to you and Joy!!

  18. Carmen says:

    Your poem is so beautiful, Micky! You are a woman with deep feelings, love, kindness and a lot of love in your heart. Did you paint the picture. I agree, you should write a book and you can guarantee, I would read it! Give sweet Joy a hug from us. Give yourself a big hug from us!!

    • Hi Carmen, thank you for the very kind words.
      No I didn’t do the picture….I wish. Would love to learn to paint.
      I just started a new blog, called Wandering Spirits At Home. You can read about it in the post I just made to the Wandering Spirit blog. I don’t know where the writing in the new blog might lead….time will tell. I’ve always written, but before blogging, in journals only, which no one has read but me. Blogging just makes the writing more formal…and more real somehow.

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