Wandering and Wondering

Yes, I wonder as I wander.

I wonder at the beauty all around me, and how amazing and precious nature is, and how I can hardly take it in sometimes.

Sharing it with you all, somehow helps.

I wonder about life here…and elsewhere, and what it all means.  “The universe is a pretty big place.  If it’s just us, seems like an awful waste of space.” (Carl Sagan)

I wonder about Spirit, and ‘religion’ and war and peace and how long the USA can continue on in its present political condition.

I wonder why dogs have so much shorter life spans than humans, and how I’m going to handle it if my Joy leaves me.

JOY

I wonder about compassion and kindness and love and indifference, and about the suffering of humans, and the needless suffering we subject animals to because we want to eat them.

My Wondering has caused me to imagine what this vast prairie land was like when herds of buffalo and native people roamed it and called it home …before there were electric lines and pipelines and traffic lines.  When the Wild grasses grew everywhere and nature ruled …before it became one giant feed-lot for mankind.  And womankind.  Oh!  Don’t get me wrong.  It’s still beautiful…heartbreakingly beautiful.  But I still wonder…

We saw some buffalo/bison around the Custer State Park area.  Wow.

I wonder why money and power mean so much and why peace and living in balance upon the earth mother , mean so little.

Oh, I could go on and on about the things I wonder, but I mostly want to mention my new Wondering, and those are the questions, how long do I want to continue wandering?  Am I still enjoying this like I did at first?  If I ‘settle’ somewhere will I be satisfied, or will I promptly want to go wandering again?

Honestly I’d be happy in a place about this size.

I envisioned doing this for a much longer time and there are still places I’d like to go, things I’d like to do, and people I’d like to see.  But right now I’m feeling insecure and a bit anxious.  Driving is making me nervous and I have a bit of a ‘heavy’ feeling, for lack of a better word.  I don’t know if it’s my natural insecurities raising their heads…because I have a lot of those…or if it’s my intuition speaking.

I think I need some time to get my head together.

I might be quiet here for awhile while I try to sort this out.

Right now we are in Piedmont, South Dakota, just north of Rapid City and on the eastern edge of the Black Hills.  In a few days we will be on our way to North Dakota to visit friends Colleen and Fred, who we met at Caballo Loco Ranch this winter…well actually we met them two winters ago, the first time we went there.

Since we’ve been near Rapid City we have visited The Mammoth Site, where over 100 mammoths drowned in a pit 26,000 years ago and their bones are being studied now.

{I’m having a lot of trouble with pictures right now, so can’t show you all I’d like to}

We’ve driven in the Black Hills near Custer State Park and watched the buffalo, explored Rapid City, Hotsprings, and Spearfish, and we drove through Spearfish Canyon, have seen Lead and Deadwood.

Its gotten cold…very cold, with nights in the low 20’s and days only reaching 40.  It has snowed too.

I’m ok.  I’m just questioning things right now and not sure, after my visit with Colleen and Fred, which direction I’ll head…east, or west.  I’m literally changing my mind from day to day…even from hour to hour.

When I make some kind of decision, I’ll be letting you know!